All posts by Binil Varghese

east indian mallu, tech-fanatic, motorcycle wanderer, adventure junkie, music ninja, solution finder, dog person, extreme foodie, responsibly reckless


Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down.
Don’t dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won’t last.

Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You’d better slow down
Don’t dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won’t last.

Ever told your child,
We’ll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say,”Hi”
You’d better slow down.
Don’t dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won’t last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift….
Thrown away.
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

Abuse Against Women … Who Is To Be Blamed?

Domestic violence, be it in the shape of physical, mental, or emotional abuse, is alive and well in India. I’m sure many of you know someone who has been a victim of violence, or know someone who knows someone who’s been a victim, or have even been a victim of abuse yourself. I for one can say I’ve known a few individuals who’ve been victims of abuse. It brings me to tears that I am powerless to do anything, lest I shame the “honor” and “pride” of a family. For most folks, ignorance is bliss. Why get tangled in the affairs of others? We’ve become too apathetic as a society–too distanced from friends and family in fear of overt involvement in their private affairs.

Often, when I voice consternation at the treatment of certain women whom I believe are victims of spousal abuse, I am reprimanded with the same ubiquitous bullshitz:

“Leave others to their personal affairs,” “people will work their problems out eventually,” “it’s not as big of a deal as it seems,” “what’s it to us,” “Binil, don’t be a snoopy bitch, let others be.”

You get the point.

Of course, I’ll agree we’ve come a long way in combating domestic abuse. After years of lobbying, women have finally obtained long overdue rights and protective measures against an abusive spouse, partner, and/or relative. This isn’t enough. Why? Because domestic abuse, as an epidemic, continues to thrive and consequently handicap the livelihood and well-being of women.
The annual statistics regarding violence against Indian women are appalling. They are as follows:

*500,000 women are stalked by an intimate partner every year
*4,500,000 women are physically assaulted every year
*More than 1,200 women are killed by an intimate partner
*Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women in India
*85-95% of all domestic violence victims are female

What’s truly disturbing is how women’s abuse is treated by the Indian society. It’s often separated from Indian culture, unlike violence against women in the Middle East or Muslim countries. Often, human rights organizations explicitly connect the abuse of women in Middle Eastern societies to culture and religion via the patriarchical belief of family honor. If you’ve ever flipped through an annual report of Human Rights Watch, you’ll immediately notice that the abuse of women in intertwined with culture. Both Christians and Muslims in the Middle East are guilty of abating and abetting the abuse of women through traditional, cultural, and religious beliefs. One popular practice in the Middle East is honor killings. When family members and/or relatives have doubts regarding a woman’s sexual virtue, she is killed, often by her own father, brother, or other male relative. Women also participate in this horrendous act of cruelty. Why? In order to rid the family of shame and uphold it’s honor. Yeah, we men can have fuck fests every hour, but if a woman even glances at a man, her virginity is in question, and by extension, her life.

Though indeed an heinous crime, honor killings in the Middle East are often sensationalized in the Western world and infrequent compared to other abuses of women’s rights. Why is the West so infatuated with honor crimes in the Middle East? And why does it always connect culture with the practice, yet fails to do the same with the abuses of women within its own periphery?

Feminist and human rights organizations have branded the patriarichal culture of the Middle East, in its various forms, as the primary culprit behind the abuse of women. Yet, why is it that abuse within India is any different? Why is it that in India, the perpetrator of abuse is held accountable as an individual, but not as a party to patriarichal values? Why is Indian culture often absolved of blame when examining the causes of domestic abuse?

Popular culture reinforces domestic abuse. Along with soft drinks, popcorn, romance, and action we are also constantly served a dosage of rape. Take Delhi for example. They’ve become a staple of movies. In too many films, violence against women is glorified. Take Sin City for example. Scantily clad women who are used and abused. In Troy that nymph of Brad’s is portrayed as merely a weak sexual being. The abuse of women within films is either obvious or subtle, but often times, it’s there. The ubiquity of rape in movies is extremely irritating. We’ve been desensitized to see rape as a crime in movies. It’s just THAT common nowadays. Rape? Oh thats all! They ban smoking in movies. why not ban violence, rape and the likes.

Where do abusers learn their behavior? From what they see indirectly sanctioned on television and/or the silver screen. With violence against women portrayed as a normal occurence within everyday life, we have become emotionally numb. This desensitization has led our society to pursue an extremely passive stance towards the burgeoning institution of violence.

What’s more disturbing is we have not fully acknowledged the intricate link between Indian culture and violecne against women, which is upheld in India by patriarichal values that may be different from those of other cultures, but are equally devastating to a woman, a family, and society as a whole. I can list a gazillion paradigms to illustrate the various means through which women are repeatedly dehumanized in our patriarichal society Granting women the right to vote, education, have all the sex they want, wear bikinis, etc. does not make Indian culture any less patriarichal than a Middle Eastern society.

I guess, it’s high-time women in India begin to question the patriarichal values of our society that maintain and/or reinforce a system of violence and abuse against women.

In Peace I Write The Above.

My Last Cry ….

My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands
Standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone
Wishing all my feelings was gone
I gave my best to you
Nothing for me to do
But have one last cry
One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I gotta put you out of my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I’m down to my last cry
I was here, You were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone
Wishing all my feelings was gone
Gotta get over you
Nothing for me to do
But have one last cry
One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I gotta put you out of my mind
For the very last time
Been living a lie
I guess I’m down…
I guess I’m down…
I guess I’m down…
To my last cry.

You’re My Song – can’t find the music

one cord into another,
struming to find a melody for two….

it’s been so long.
i never had a chance to play this for you.
cos everytime the music starts,
i always cannot go with the tune.
and then you went away,
now the lyrics seem to stray.
so how can i not love you?
when i live just for you.
you took away the heart in me,
that once beat in harmony.
now, i am torn apart,
feeling unemotional somehow.
sometimes, i can’t help but cry.
i miss the way we used to be.
and the sad part,
the song i made,
is just a music that will fade.

Some Thoughts

Anger is a condition in which
the tongue works faster than the mind.

You can’t change the past,
but you can ruin the present
by worrying over the future.

Love…and you shall be loved.

God always gives His best to those
who leave the choice with Him.

All people smile in the same language.

A hug is a great gift… one size fits all.
It can be given for any occasion
and it’s easy to exchange.

Everyone needs to be loved…
especially when they do not deserve it.

The real measure of a man’s wealth

Is what he has invested in eternity.

Laughter is God’s sunshine.

Everyone has beauty
but not everyone sees it.

It’s important for parents to live
the same things they teach.

Thank God for what you have,
TRUST GOD for what you need.

If you fill your heart with regrets of

Yesterday and the worries of tomorrow,
you have no today to be thankful for.

Man looks at outward appearance
but the Lord looks within.

The choice you make today
will usually affect tomorrow.

Take time to laugh, for it is
the music of the soul.

If anyone speaks badly of you,
live so none will believe it.

Patience is the ability to idle your motor
when you feel like stripping your gears.

Love is strengthened by working
through conflicts together.

The best thing parents can do
for their children is to love each other.

Harsh words break no bones
but they do break hearts.

To get out of a difficulty,
one usually must go through it.

We take for granted the things
that we should be giving thanks for.

Love is the only thing that can be
divided without being diminished.

Happiness is enhanced by others
but does not depend upon others.

For every minute you are angry with someone,
you lose 60 seconds of happiness
that you can never get back.

Do what you can, for who you can,
with what you have, and where you are.

Moments In Life

There are moments in life when you miss someone
so much that you just want to pick them from
your dreams and hug them for real!

When the door of happiness closes, another opens;
but often times we look so long at the
closed door that we don’t see the one
which has been opened for us.

Don’t go for looks; they can deceive.
Don’t go for wealth; even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile,

because it takes only a smile to
make a dark day seem bright.
Find the one that makes your heart smile.

Dream what you want to dream;
go where you want to go;
be what you want to be,
because you have only one life
and one chance to do all the things
you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough trials to make you strong,
enough sorrow to keep you human, and
enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don’t necessarily
have the best of everything;
they just make the most of
everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always
be based on a forgotten past;
you can’t go forward in life until
you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying
and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end,
you’re the one who is smiling and everyone
around you is crying.

Does God Exist ?

This is one of the best explanations of why God allows pain and
suffering that I have seen. It's an explanation other people will understand.

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed.
As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation.
They talked about so many things and various subjects.
When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said:
"I don't believe that God exists."
"Why do you say that?" asked the customer.
"Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God
doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people?
Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither
suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving a God who would allow all
of these things."
The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't
want to start an argument. The barb er finished his job and the customer
left the shop. Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street
with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and
The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said
to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist."
"How can you say that?" asked the surp rised barber.
"I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!"
"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they did,
there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards,
like that man outside."
"Ah, but barbers DO exist! What happens is, people do not come to me."
"Exactly!"- affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES
What happens, is, people don't go to Him and do not look for Him.
That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."